28 November 2022 gotranscript audio test passed

Speaker 1:
This audio is used for the transcriber test at GoTranscript.

Speaker 2:
Um, thank you for scheduling your colonoscopy at GoTranscript world famous gastroenterology clinic where our motto is, you do the prep and we do the schlep.

Your procedure is scheduled for this Wednesday the 30th of November at 11 o’clock. Now, three days before your colonoscopy, please head over to the nearest grocery store and stock up on clear liquids like white grape juice, chicken broth, and Gatorade. And before one of you wise and Hymas asks no vodka doesn’t count as a clear liquid. I mean, okay, yes, it is a liquid and it is clear. However, nine out of 10 times it drives you out and fogs your brain. And that’s all we need around here is some addlepated patient demanding a colonoscopy in a drunken rage. We’ve got lives of our own, you know,

I’m sorry about that little rant, I guess I got a little carried away. Anyway, the bottom line on your bottom crap is no booze and no fiber. The point of the prep is to clean out your innards, so we can stick a little camera inside and see what’s what.

You never know what or who might be floating around inside a large intestine. Anyone who’s read burns, Fantastic Voyage knows what I’m talking about. Although granted, they were in a much less disgusting part of the anatomy.

Back to the prep instructions. The day before your colonoscopy or as the kids today call it your hamster cam. You need to drink gobs and gobs of water and other liquids mixed with MiraLAX and do Dulcolax and just let everything kind of flow back out into the universe to put it euphemistically different gastroenterologists so have different versions of the instructions. But basically, you’ll be drinking around 1500 gallons of liquid before you’re done.

Yeah, okay. That might be an exaggeration, but it’ll sure feel that way. Trust me. Anyway, you’re not supposed to eat anything solid at all. Not even marshmallow keeps and that’s a shame because they now come in a buttload of flavors.

That was a little joke there. Sorry if I offended your delicate sensibilities, Mabel, or whatever your name is. No worries. You’re in good hands here at GoTranscript gastro will get you through this embarrassing day with a minimum of jokes, and a maximum of compassion. And by the time the weekend rolls around, you can drink all the vodka you want. Even Idaho’s favorite Badcock if you’re really into potatoes

Speaker 1:
This audio is used for the transcriber test at GoTranscript.

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